


blasphemy

by clearvinyl



Series: cocooooooooo [1]
Category: Mayans M.C. (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Body Image, F/M, Fluff, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Smut, with a dash of me making myself laugh and a sprinkle of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28271262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clearvinyl/pseuds/clearvinyl
Summary: you’re too devoted to self care to let coco commit blasphemy
Relationships: Johnny "Coco" Cruz/Reader
Series: cocooooooooo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073120
Kudos: 14





	blasphemy

**Author's Note:**

> written from my black ass perspective but reader is ambiguous besides having a vulva and hair
> 
> @challengeahellcat on tumblr

It all starts the first time Coco spends the night after a day of handling club shit. He brings over food, and when the itis sets in, you decide to let him cuddle you to sleep. So he texts Letty that he won’t be home but he will break the jaw of any boy she tries to bring over, then goes to take a quick shower.

Soon enough he's shouting at you across the house, "What the fuck, you rob a spa or something?"

You walk in to find him under the spray of water, holding your body exfoliator in one hand and your favorite hair mask in the other, looking at the labels like they're written in French (to be fair, half of it is).

He asks why the hell you have so many damn products, and you ask how many damn products does he use.

That's how you find out he uses 4-in-1 face wash, body wash, shampoo and conditioner, _and_ the same lotion for his face and body like some goddamn heathen. Appalled, you realize you'll have to do the lord's work and put him on the self care way of life.

First and foremost you make sure he understands that 1) he's already fine as hell, 2) this is about him worshipping himself, and 3) you're not lowkey calling him crusty since he's blessedly never been ashy. Once that's all firmly established and you've buttered him up with kisses, you get to work.

Talking him through the hair part isn't hard - turns out he takes a lot of pride in his thick waves. You even convince him to leave a deep conditioner in for 10 whole minutes after you mentioned it would make his hair softer than Riz's (and after you explained why you know how soft Riz's hair is).

Getting him to use body wash on just his body? Simple, easy, done. The scrub is saved for another day.

The skin care part is where you run into issues. When he gets out the shower you give him shea butter to rub down his body, but he gets deadset on using it on his face too. So you have to wrestle it away from him then drag his ass back into the bathroom to show him how to do better.

"All this goes on your face?" he looks at you like you're bugging after you lay out the holy grail on the counter. Granted, you should probably ease him into something simple instead of whipping out your 10 step night routine, but neither you or Coco know shit about being subtle.

"Yup, and you see this glow right?"

He presses up behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as he kisses up your neck. "I thought you was just born this fine ma.”

Okay, that has you melting a little bit, but you're on a mission and you're onto his game.

"Mmhmm, acting cute isn't getting you out of this."

"Ain't nothing cute about what I wanna do," he says, lips still on your neck and hands going straight for your chest.

The temptation is real but you resist the devil over your shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, make my toes curl after I learn you something about glass skin."

He sucks his teeth and pouts, but goes to sit on the closed toilet seat to watch you anyway. "Go 'head Ms. B. Haven." You laugh at the ‘teacher by day, stripper by night’ name you ripped off Tumblr and dubbed the alter ego that starts acting up every time you take one tequila shot too many.

"Aight, Step One: Cleanser." In one hand you hold up the miracle face wash that frees your pores of all sins and in the other you hold up the overpriced silicone cleansing brush that makes your skin feel oh so angelic. Coco looks unimpressed as you lather up the gel but he perks right on up when you turn on the brush.

"You sure do like shit that vibrates, huh?" He grins, and you would roll your eyes if that wasn't a guaranteed way to end up with the cleanser stinging them.

"Like you haven't teamed up with all my toys to torture me. I think you enjoy them more than I do."

"You complaining?"

"Absolutely not," you answer real quick, making his smile so smug that his dimple peeks out.

You continue walking through your routine with Coco cracking dirty jokes for every single step. By the time you get to the moisturizer you're both dying from laughing.

"Nah - you can’t tell me that all that ain't nut. What you buying all this expensive shit for when you can get a fresh facial right here?"

"Shut _up!_ I can't stand you."

"Then come sit on me."

"I’m not fucking you on the toilet."

"Then you better go lay that pretty ass on the bed." The gruffness in his tone goes straight to your clit, and you're definitely planning on getting your back blown out, but when do you ever pass up the opportunity to be a brat?

"Uh-uh, your dick’s not getting wet until your face is shinning like a glazed donut." You point at your own face as the divine example.

It doesn't hit you that you set yourself up until he gets that evil look in his eyes and licks his lips. "Bet."

"Wait-" you try to backtrack but it's too late. He's already hauling you into the bedroom and once your thighs are wrapped around his head you truly couldn't give a fuck about skin care.

In fact you've forgotten all about it by the time y'all are done making each other see God, and you're left panting into the pillows, waiting for Coco to come back to wipe you off. After a while you notice it's taking him way too long to get a towel, so you creep into the bathroom to see what's the hold up.

There he is, on Step Five: Toner Part 3, intently patting in the liquid just like you showed him and being too cute. You smile so hard your cheeks hurt, and your heart hurts even more from falling for him a little bit harder.

Mushy mode activated, you sneak up behind him to snake your arms around his waist and snuggle into his back, cooing, "Aww, I was going to be mad you left me looking like a flood but I love this for you."

He jumps a little when your touch comes out of nowhere but tries to play it off as if he was just reaching for Step Six: Serum Part 1. "My bad. Lemme finish with this then it's round two of anointing that ass."


End file.
